There are different kinds of love, and these are variously expressed
as motherly love, brotherly love, sensual love, emotional love, sexual
love, selfish love, selfless love, and universal love.
If people develop only their carnal or selfish love towards each
other, that type of love cannot last long. In a true love relationship,
one should not ask how much one can get, but how much one can give.
When beauty, complexion and youth start to fade away, a husband
who considers only the physical aspects of love may think of acquiring
another young one. That type of love is animal love or lust. If a man
really develops love as an expression of human concern for another
being, he will not lay emphasis only on the external beauty and physical
attractiveness of his partner. The beauty and attractiveness of his
partner should be in his heart and mind, not in what he sees. Likewise,
the wife who follows Buddhist teachings will never neglect her husband
even though he has become old, poor or sick.
"I have a fear that the modern girl loves to be Juliet, to
have a dozen Romeos. She loves adventure . . . . . The modern girl
dresses not to protect herself from wind, rain and sun, but to attract
attention. She improves upon nature by painting herself and looking
extraordinary."
Sex
Sex by itself is not "evil," although the temptation and craving
for it invariably disturbs the peace of mind, and hence is not conducive
to spiritual development.
In the ideal situation, sex is the physical culmination of a
deeply satisfying emotional relationship, where both partners give and
take equally.
The portrayal of love by commercial groups through the mass media
in what we call "western" culture is not "real" love. When an animal
wants to have sex, it shows its "love," but after having experienced
sex, it just forgets about love. For animals, sex is just an instinctive
drive necessary for procreation. But a human being has much more to
offer in the concept of love. Duties and responsibilities are important
ingredients to maintain unity, harmony and understanding in a
relationship between human beings.
Sex is not the most important ingredient for happiness in a
married life. Those who have become slaves to sex would only ruin love
and humanity in marriage. Apart from that, a woman must cease to
consider herself as the object of a man's lust. The remedy is more in
her hand than in a man's. She must refuse to adorn herself simply to
please a man, even if he is her husband. If she wants to be an equal
partner with a man, she should dress so that her dignity is enhanced,
and she does not become a sex symbol. Marriage for the satisfaction of
the sexual appetite is no marriage. It is concupiscence.
Love may indeed be a product of sex, but the reverse is likewise
true: sex is an expression of love. In the ideally happy married life,
both love and sex are inseparable
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